Has this ever happened to you?
You say something to a coworker without thinking and they automatically think you are being rude.
For example, if you’re a manager and you ask your assistant to “get it done by 5pm.” Your assistant says, “yes,” but at the same time they’re thinking how rude you are.
Or a coworker asks you to help out with something and you say: “I can’t talk now. I’m busy.”
You are busy and you are merely informing them, however, it comes off a little harsh.
The result? You are left frustrated when the other person is, again, offended.
You see, in American English you may have the best intentions to communicate in an effective and polite manner.
But… if you don’t have dominion over the English language, you can sound rude without realizing it. When English is your second language, you will need some key phrases to use at work to make sure your communication comes across as you intended.
Using the Correct Grammar Can Help You Sound More Polite
The way you communicate in the workplace is important if you want to maintain a good rapport with your colleagues or staff. It will also help you protect your reputation as a professional, which will help you move up in your career.
One communication mistake most non-native English speakers make is using imperatives. An imperative sentence gives a command, so this can sound rude.
Try using modals like can, could, would or an adverb like please. Even an adjective like sorry goes a long way to soften a refusal. Saying sorry first makes it easier to hear no. Moreover, making a request in question form is another way to make it less harsh.
Using politeness in the workplace is not about being nice but more about being professional. Rudeness displays unprofessionalism. You can be assertive and get your point across while being polite.
Let’s take a look at some examples of various situations you may find in the workplace.
1. Giving your opinion
You have to be assertive when giving your opinion but that doesn’t mean you have to be rude. For example: Your coworker is starting a new project that you have experience in but you can see that she’s going about it the wrong way. You say, “I wouldn’t do it that way if I were you” or “why don’t you just do it this way? Instead, try the phrases below.
- I think…
- In my opinion, it would be better if…
- From my point of view…
- I believe…
- To me
2. Making a suggestion
Making a suggestion sounds easy enough, and it is. However, sometimes you may still come across as pushy if the topic you’re discussing brings about a lot of tension or indecision. Start your suggestion with words that open your colleague’s mind to your point of view.
- I propose…
- I would suggest….
- Why don’t we think about…?
- We should consider…
3. Delegating work
If you’re in a manager role and you have to delegate a task, you don’t want your requests to sound curt or abrasive. Speak in a way that conveys you are in collaboration with your colleagues even if they are less senior than you.
Instead of, “have this done by 5pm.” Choose one of the more collaborative and courteous options below.
- Let’s aim for 5pm.
- Do you think we can have this completed by 5pm?
- I would like to have this completed by 5pm. Is that doable?
4. Disagreeing and presenting your point of view
Agreeing with your colleagues is easy but disagreeing with your colleagues can be awkward. Your tone of voice along with the words you choose will convey politeness.
Imagine this scenario: You are part of the management team and once again, yearly raises are up for discussion. The team suggests another 2% “cost of living raise” for all employees across the board as this would balance the budget. But you know that employees are dissatisfied with this decision and would prefer raises be based on performance.
A 2% raise does not compensate employees for their individual contributions and employee retention has dropped in the last year. How can you gracefully communicate that you disagree with only a 2% raise?
Don’t say: “That’s not going to work. That’s not a good idea.” Say instead:
- I see your point, but maybe I can offer you another point of view.
- I understand what you mean but have you considered….
- I don’t agree with you but I understand your point. However, …
- Would you consider…
- I don’t agree because…
5. Asking for clarification
Most of us have to be encouraged to ask questions when we don’t understand. Sometimes we feel our questions are silly or foolish. As a result, we can leave a meeting or a conversation with unanswered questions and doubts that lead to further misunderstandings.
For example, your boss has delegated a task to you but the details are somewhat unclear; or maybe someone is giving a presentation and you need clarification on a pitch they’ve made. On the other hand, you have a colleague with an accent and you’re not sure what they’ve just said. Either way it’s necessary to clarify when you don’t understand, just make sure it’s polite.
- I’m sorry, can you repeat that?
- I didn’t catch that. (informal)
If you’re in a meeting say:
- To be clear, you are suggesting…
- To reiterate, you’re saying to…
- Can you explain further?
- Can you elaborate?
6. Clarifying your point
At times, you’ll be asked to clarify a statement you’ve made. Maybe you’re making a presentation and a participant misunderstood your point or simply didn’t understand your explanation. Here are a few suggestions below.
- To put it another way.
- Let me clarify.
- Let me rephrase that.
- Let me explain it another way.
- In other words…
7. Interrupting
Interrupting someone is never a good idea but sometimes it’s unavoidable. If you find yourself in this position, try softening the interruption with some key phrases below.
- If I may interrupt.
- Can I add something?
- Excuse me, if I can interject for a moment…
- Please continue, I apologize for interrupting.
8. Being interrupted
On the other hand, if it’s you who’s being interrupted, you may still want to continue and not allow the other speaker to interrupt you. This might be touchy but try using some of the phrases below to politely object to being interrupted.
- Just one more moment.
- Please let me finish.
- I’m wrapping up my point…
- I’ll give you the floor in one moment. (“I’ll give you the floor, or having the floor” is an idiom that explains you will soon stop and they will have an opportunity to respond to you.)
9. Saying “no” when you can’t help
It’s difficult to tell a colleague that your unable to help. If you are stressed and swamped with our own work, you could mistakenly sound uncaring when you tell them, no. Try the phrases below. Also, add a brief explanation and an alternative way for you to assist without physically being present.
Here’s an example: I’m afraid I can’t help right now; I don’t have a moment to spare but I can send you a few documents that explain exactly what you’re working on.
Here’s a few more below:
- I’m afraid I can’t help right now.
- I won’t be able to help with that…
- I’m sorry, I’m not available right now but I know someone who can help.
10. Ending a conversation
Do you have coworkers that love to talk way too long at the water cooler? It’s hard to break away when you know you have a lot of work to do or maybe, you simply don’t want to be bothered. Try out these phrases below to end the conversation.
- I have to get going, we’ll talk soon.
- I have to get started, let’s continue our conversation later.
- I have to go; we can catch up later.
11. If you’re busy
This is similar to ending of conversation but here, you are not ending a conversation. You are literally in the middle of working and have been interrupted. Imagine a scenario that’s probably already happened to you.
You’re in the middle of working and a colleague walks into your office and tells you about the drama they had last weekend. You know this conversation is likely to go on for at least 30 minutes and you don’t have that kind of time to waste.
How do you politely get rid of them? Try of few of these phrases below.
- Let me finish up something and I’ll catch up with you in a few minutes.
- Can you give me five minutes?
- I’m sorry. Can we talk later? I’m a bit busy at the moment.
- I’m sorry, I’m in the middle of something. Can I catch up with you later?
